As pretentious, fourth-year posers about to leave this fine academical village in the purple shadows of the weather worn Blue Ridge, we would like to suggest a possible seminar-ly addition to the COD. It is our belief that this addition will provide a diachronic ordering principle for the typical undergraduate approaching the third millenium.

RELG/PHIL 666 "It'd be a lot cooler if you did."

Description: An adjectival excercise in modern, neo-modern, and post-neo-modern ontological phenomena, teleological perspectives, the millenarian aesthetic, and a plethora of other such existential generalities.

***Notes*** This course will not fulfill the second writing requirement, but may function as a substitute to the proposed UVA 101 for Echols Scholars and Espresso Drinking P.I.B.s

Prerequisites:

• Chaucerian Ebonics
• Personal relation to Sartrian Nausea and the Heideggerian response
• Intimate knowledge of the Oldsmobuick of one Arnold T. Pants, Esquire
• Considerable experience in the Hegelian dialectic
• A fortnight of extensive coursework in the teachings of the Tao Te Ching, Mister Miagi, and the Old Guy from the Nissan commercials
• a taste for the arbitrary

Topics:

• d'Alembert's Preliminary Discourse on Diderot's Encyclopaedia elucidating the capitulation of the ésprit de system to the ésprit systematique
• That pederass Hanrahan
• global warming as a metaphor for hallucinogenic hell (first episteme: "it's too damn hot for a penguin to just be walking around")
• Juliette Lewis: trailer trash or just plain T.T.?
• Voltaire as a superficial mind
• Malebranchian occassionalism: How does my arm get raised when I want to raise it?
• Personal meditations and revelations -- objective theorizing typically occurring Fridays when you ain't got no job and ain't got shit to do
• Innies or Outies? Physical discrimination in Buddhist reincarnation hierarchy
• Locke's capacious acceptance of cognitive inconsistencies
• the Cromwellian interregnum
• How else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?
• Je ne sais quoi
• the stasis of the vicious cycle and the preponderance of immobility: "we're not going anywhere, Gilbert!"