Burning Bush

Poodah's annoyance at the plume of smoke rising over Clemons Library on Tuesday quickly turned to fury upon hearing that cooling tower/generator cover-up story. In an attempt to expose the conspiracy, Poodah posits the following theories:

• Jeff Manns rented Showgirls laserdisc
• methane from decomposing bodies of slaves
• visitor from land of Honalee
• hot air + static electricity = Thunder!
• new "Clemons Burning Society" initiation rites
• NORML harvests their "Secret Garden"
• U-Union presents Freebase Study Break
• Smokey the Bear -- medium rare
• Spinal Tap drummer auditions
• in The Backroom Cafe: The Wrath of Yahweh
• halogen lamps
• promo for Volcano
• Indian Yanni-haters

M.A.S.H.

A night of romance at the A-School ended with Poodah rifling through garbage cans on Carr's Hill in search of paint thinner and SERP pizza leftovers. In the process, Poodah excavated a M.A.S.H., the familiar device used by pre-adolescent girls to predict the future. The letters "A-S-T-E-E-N" were the only clue as to the identity of the owner.

people to have sex with wife cousin secretary Tiki honeymoon destination Crozet Swannanoa Pavilion V Rotunda Bell Tower

transportation Oscar Meyer Weinermobile low-rider El Camino 'Hoo Bus un Citroen, n'est-ce pas? occupation president of large university "sugar daddy" typing teacher CK-1 model

"Kama Kama Kama Kama Sutra Chameleon ..."

After seeing the newest clammy-palmed "art flick" Kama Sutra, Poodah pondered the nature of sex ... and, consequently sexual positions. Poodah then decided to compile a list of the various sexual postures and poses currently in use at U.Va., asking several organizations to submit entries:

Astronomy Club the "Hale-Bopp" E-School the "Pity Fuck" ROTC the "Foxhole" Monroe Hill the "Brown Collage" U-Guides the "Rotunda" Russian House the "Red Scare"

Baha'i "we welcome all sexual positions" A-Capella Council the "Tremble Cleft" U.Va. Catering the Blazin' Red Fuck ARAMark the "Beefy Mac" Blue Ridge Mountain and Rescue the "Bungee-Hump"