My Two Dads INTRODUCING ALTERNATIVE SEXUALITIES TO KIDS by Maria Pulzetti A third-grader, arguing with his classmates about same-sex marriage, comments, "What's the big whoop? So they're gay, who cares?" He doesn't consider the gender of the person someone wants to marry a big deal. In society, however, same-sex marriage and being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender is a big deal. And to many people, the possibility of third-graders discussing issues of sexual orientation in class is an even bigger whoop. The documentary It's Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School, by Debra Chasnoff and Helen Cohen, features six elementary and middle schools nationwide whose teachers agreed to discuss glbt (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) issues in the classroom. The children in the movie make many amusing, and often poignant, comments. One reason to include homosexuality in school curriculum is that heterosexuality is already included. Our children know about heterosexuality and regularly encounter it in school. We certainly allow children with heterosexual parents to talk about their family life. Children read books in school with heterosexual families in them. Children make cards for Mother's Day and bring permission slips home for parents to sign, often without teachers considering that the child might have two mothers or two fathers. In school, children experience an environment that accepts and validates heterosexuality but does not accept or validate homosexuality. Many people mistakenly assume that discussing glbt issues in the classroom would teach children about something they've never heard of. Children do hear about glbt issues from television talk shows, movies, magazines, and playground insults, but are these the sources of information we want our children to have? Most likely, neither parents who believe in glbt equality nor those who have convictions against homosexuality want Jim Carrey or Montel Williams to be their children's only source of information. In It's Elementary, classroom footage reveals that children have heard these words and have many misconceptions. One fourth-grader, when his teacher initiated a discussion of what it means to be gay, asked if interracial relationships were gay. Eighth graders in a high school with a large Latino population said that the Latino gay man and lesbian who spoke to their class surprised them because they had only seen images of white glbt people. Teachers interviewed in It's Elementary consistently express surprise at how curious and receptive their students are to discussions of glbt issues. Many teachers said they would not have expected their students to be "ready" for a lesson on homosexuality. Another popular misconception equates discussion of glbt issues with discussion of sex. Creating an environment in which students feel free to ask questions about homosexuality and in which students with same-sex parents feel comfortable talking about their families does not require talking about sex. Giving children different kinds of information than they acquire from TV or telling children that the word "gay" does not refer to heterosexual interracial relationships has less sexual content than the story of Cinderella. Also, discussing glbt issues does not mean that schools will impose a certain view of homosexuality upon families who disagree. Rather, giving children facts and making them comfortable discussing what it means to be glbt will open opportunities for children to ask questions at home and for parents to share their personal beliefs. The most compelling reason to teach our children about glbt issues is that it allows our children to develop a positive image of themselves and to foster healthy interaction with other people in their lives. Neglecting to teach our children about glbt issues promotes a dangerous environment of silence around these topics. Imagine a child who does not feel comfortable asking a question about what the word "gay" means in class, but who hears her friends saying "faggot," "queer," and "gay" on the playground. She knows somehow that the words are bad and feels ashamed to ask her teacher about it. She watches Ace Ventura, Pet Detective and sees Jim Carrey throw up, shower, and set fire to his clothing after he realizes he has kissed a man. She watches Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and hears the men call each other "fag" after an impulsive hug. She internalizes the message that same-sex relationships are disgusting, only mentioned as jokes and insults. Later on, she may well fall victim to the misinformation or lack of information she has received. If she ever thinks that her sexual orientation could be lesbian or bisexual, she may commit suicide; 30 percent of teenage suicides are due to concerns about sexuality. She might drop out of high school; 28 percent of glbt teens don't complete high school. If she is heterosexual, maybe she or her boyfriend will commit a hate crime against a glbt individual; teenagers commit over 30 percent of all hate crimes against glbt people. Maybe her roommate, her sister, her father, or her teacher will come out as glbt; she wouldn't be able to continue a positive relationship with that person due to her lack of knowledge about homosexuality. Of course, a lesson or two on glbt topics will not guarantee a generation of non- homophobic students, just as lessons during Black History Month will not eliminate racism. However, teaching our children the simple idea that they need not be ashamed to talk about glbt issues or be afraid to use the words "gay," "lesbian," "bisexual," or "transgender" takes a huge step toward ending the silence that glbt people face. The classroom footage in It's Elementary shows that children have a lot to say and a lot of questions to ask about homosexuality. I have to admit that before seeing the film, I did not think that the elementary school classrooms were one of the primary locuses where glbt people and heterosexual allies could make strides toward ending the ignorance and silence of homophobia. The film made me believe that the environment a child experiences in school can make a profound difference in the way that a child thinks about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues.

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