thursday 23

Cornucopias of good stuff are promised at the Writers' Harvest for Hunger hosted by the U.Va. Bookstore at 8 p.m. Readers to be jumping out of that goat's bugle, that proverbial "horn of plenty," include our own poet Gregory Orr and fiction writer Mary Lee Settle. Fish planting lessons separate.

William Quandt, the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson of Machiavelli, will speak on Presidential Management in International Crisis at 5:30 p.m. in the Ruffner Auditorium.
1. Suspend the Constitution.
2. Seize on fife.

In town tonight: at Trax, Magraw Gap; at Miller's, John D'Earth; at Tiny Mac, The Groove; at Outback Lodge, My Dog Lucy; at Monterey's, The PTF Band.

friday 24

While the U-Guides cut-a-rug up in the ballroom, watch Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith blow up aliens downstairs ... don't get any ideas. Men in Black at Cinematheque, 7 and 9:30 p.m.

Come one (likely) come all (improbable) to the Newcomb Hall Grand Opening. Even though it never closed, we're cutting the ribbon anyway -- just for you! In addition to Hazel's official swiping of the first meal, don't miss the unveiling of the second umlaut at the Frëshëns stand. Mmm, Smööthies.

In town tonight: at Dürty Nelly's, Iam Gilliam Band; at the Outback Lodge, The All Mighty Senators; at Trax, Guster with the Nevers; at Miller's, Terry Allard; at Monterey's, The Vidells; at Tokyo Rose, The Naked Puritans.

saturday 25

-- OK, I'll take Jm J. Bullock for the block.
-- Quick -- who played the human cockroach in Men in Black? Was it Benicio Del Toro, Vincent D'Onofrio, or Leo DiCaprio?
Men in Black at Cinematheque. 7, 9:30, midnight. Pick yer poison.

In town tonight: at Miller's, Terry Allard; at Monterey's, The Vidells; at Trax, Earth to Andy with The Marvelous; at the Outback Lodge, Billy and the Backbeats; at Tokyo Rose, The Ninth with One Drop.

sunday 26

Woohoo! Downstairs ... In the bathroom ... Under the sink ... Dog-eared ... A whole stack of 'em: Kachungas! Moist. Bareass. Perky n' Supple. Cheeks. Paul Stevens presents 20 Years of Photography at Artspace, until 11 p.m.

In town tonight: at Lile Dorm, Yodeling Squirrels with The Nut Huggers.

monday 27

There will be a Religion and Homosexuality forum at 7:30 p.m. in the Newcomb Hall South Meeting Room. Now that's what I call cross-dressing.

An Aussie named Fox
Will deliver a talk
Here on our Grounds about ground far away
(Indonesia exactly)
He'll matter-of-factly
Lambast those Nitrates in the South Meeting Room
(The only place off Rugby where a NO₃^2- is a "Yes!") 4 in the p.m.

In town tonight: at Monterey's, Tim Rynalls & Bennie Dodd Band; at Miller's, Greg Howard.

tuesday 28

... and, of course, the Kingdome, where a blown call in a Seahawks game resulted in bloodshed in '83. Let's not leave out the fight over replacing the statue atop the Capitol building, or all the sacrifices that took place in the Pantheon, the oldest dome in the world ... Julie Alban will speak on "Domestic Violence," 7:30 p.m., South Meeting Room.

In town tonight: at Miller's, Blues and Stuff; at Outback Lodge, Lotus Eaters.

wednesday 29

James Fox will speak on "The Paradox of Powerlessness: Timor -- A Historical Perspective" at 4 p.m. in the Rotunda.
m. What is it, Lassor? You want your meaty Alpo feast now?
d. Wait, Honey, I think Lassor is trying to tell us something! What is it, boy? Timor is in trouble?! He's fallen down Ol' Man Tyranny's well of civil rights abuses and intolerable oppression?
m. Good boy, Lassor!

On the Lawn: the Grand Opening of "The Rotunda," an architectural masterpiece by the late Thomas Jefferson -- farmer, politician, ISC sympathizer, author of The Declaration of Independence, Ambassador to France, president, and governor of Virginia. This most recent product of the Capital Campaign is sure to fill the balconies of our campus' quad.

In town tonight: at Miller's, Mike Rosensky and Jeff Decker Quartet.