The Rolling Stones / Bridges to Babylon by Mike Cardman Virgin Records Anyone who has ever uttered the words "the power of rock 'n' roll music" is familiar with the backwards spiritualism of the genre's best songs: just as gospel music must worship Jesus, proper rock 'n' roll must worship itself. A song like, say, "Brown Sugar" is a 3 to 4-minute cult with the band as god-like shaman simultaneously creating and invoking the sacred groove, and the listener as naive dupe temporarily fulfilled by the soporific sounds. Like a drug, the song knows what you need -- it doesn't answer your every need, but it does eliminate them because for the duration of the song, rock 'n' roll is all you need. This is exaggerated, sure, but it's not an abstraction or a false metaphor. The religious quality of rock 'n' roll used to make people really lose their shit like only the revival tent could. It's what used to genuinely frighten adults. Yes, Marilyn Manson is a joke, but Mick's knowing tongue never was. No, the tongue was a blasphemous icon because true rock 'n' roll is, contrary to popular belief, not the sound of teenage desire and yearning, but the bastardized fullfillment of those yearnings. Maybe it's a sign of the times in general, or maybe it's just that all the old bands have grown up or self-destructed, but now the stuff that we call rock 'n' roll is all about more mundane matters of self-expression: it's ... ugh ... it's ... Art! And in the midst of all this selfish anarchy, what can a poor boy do, 'cept to wait patiently for the messiah's return? And what can a poor boy do, 'cept to be disappointed by the new Rolling Stones album? Bridges to Babylon is actually an excellent album, but the name of the thing arouses hope for a ride to the promised land. When it doesn't deliver, the true believer can only come away feeling like Steve Buscemi in the movie Fargo1, confronting an endless fence, digging for his loot in the snow. Light a candle and have faith, though, all you true believers. Rock 'n' roll is not dead except in the hearts of the Rolling Stones. They have left the fold, their teenage yearnings fullfilled through other avenues such as investment banking and art collecting and surplus hot sex. As you can hear on Bridges to Babylon, they are less "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," and more "Hey, Are These Edible Panties? ('Cause I Missed Lunch)." Rock 'n' roll is only their career now, and you must find it in your heart to forgive them as rock 'n' roll has forgiven you. Also, three years from now, when their next album comes out, don't be such a sucker. 1(Didn't really like it)

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