thursday 13

"Hey, an informational address on 'The Evolving Political Battlefield and the Implication for the Public Policy Organizations' will be hosted by S.I.L. at 7:30 in Minor Hall Auditorium."
"What's S.I.L., man?"
"Students (males) Into Libertarians (females), dude."
"Really man? Libertarians, huh?"
"Yeah, Smart-O, everyone knows that the libertarians are the babes."
"I'm a student into babes ... I'm there totally."

"Bye bye, Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was dry."
"Bye bye, Miss American Cake, drove my Taurus to the forest, but the forest was fake."
"Bye bye, Mr. Hot Dog guy, I slept with Rhonda in my Honda, because there I was high."
"Bye Bye, Miss Universe, crashed my Yugo into Hugo who was driving a hearse."
Watch Richard Rorty and James Caesar attempt to put the pieces of this messed up song-lyric-of-a-country back together again. They'll discuss Caesar's new book: Reconstructing America at 3:30 p.m. in Newcomb Hall South Meeting Room.

In town tonight: at Buddhist Biker Bar and Grill, The Hogwaller Ramblers; at the Jewish Mother, The Fulltones; at Miller's, John D'earth Group; at Trax, Agents of Good Roots with Mudcat Jones; at Tokyo Rose, True Love Always; at Monterey's, Superjock JJ; at the Outback Lodge, Sonar.

friday 14

Gary Oldman plays a crazy old man with an accent! That's statistically improbable! Air Force One at Cinematheque, 7 and 9:30 p.m.

graphic by Tom Serlin

What if Boutros Boutros-Ghali were a beautiful woman, graced with scandalous eyelashes, unabashed curves, and eyes that could melt fire? Yeah, and all the ambassadors had short euro-cool haircuts and strutted into the Security Council wearing nothing but sleeveless mink evening suits with velvet trim and oh baby oh yes ... Model UN makes U.Va. its runway all day long.

If you think that Habermas is just some middle-eastern terrorist organization or one of those rare earth elements (Hb, atomic number 169) you probably ought to let Jürgen himself set you straight. Mr. H speaks on "Social Theory in Practice." 3:30 p.m., Newcomb Theater.

In town tonight: at the Jewish Mother, Red Letter Day; at Miller's, Larry Keel Experience; at Trax, Edison with The Ninth and Muscadine; at Tokyo Rose, Three Apples Tall, Charming, and 5 o'clock.

saturday 15

"I was a hall monitor. Where I come from, the chess club beat up the hall monitors. The FBLA beat up the chess club. The NHS beat up the FBLA. The FHA beat up the NHS. And the Model UN, they beat them all up." Model UN Meeting, noon, Peabody and Newcomb. Or, if you prefer, nerds.

Do you like Pina Coladas?
Getting caught in the rain?
If you're not into yoga,
Go see Swingers, noodle-brain.
At noon, 2:30 and 5 p.m. at Cinematheque. See Rollergirl before she got her skates.

Air Force One. Air, because we're full of hot air. Force, because we're a force to be reckoned with. One, because there's only one of us. Washington Society, oops, I mean Cinematheque, 7:00, 9:30 p.m., and midnight.

In town tonight: at Miller's, the Fulltones; at Tokyo Rose, One Drop; at Trax, e:verything and My Dog Lucy; at the Jewish Mother, Red Letter Day.

sunday 16

"I'm coming as Oman!" "Yeah, well I get to be Greece!" "Lucky!" Dress up as your favorite participating country and Model UN. (Note: you must be a high schooler to participate. Bummer.) Noon. Peabody and Newcomb.

In town tonight: at Michael's Bistro, High Street Bluegrass Band.

monday 17

As you stare into Monday, Monday stares back into you.

In town tonight: at Baja Bean, Open Mic Night; at Michael's Bistro, Jazz Poets Society; at Miller's, Greg Howard.

tuesday 18

Fortune: Lazy Mondays create Black Tuesdays. Check stock market. Avoid your mom. 5-15-9-43-45.

In town tonight: at Dürty Nelly's, Steve and Tim Ryalls; at Michael's Bistro, Soko; at Miller's, Blues and Stuff; at Trax, Jackopierce farewell performance.

wednesday 19

Norway, illegal whaler. Kuwait, fighting dangerous and uncontrollable oil rig fires set years ago by Sadaam Hussein. England, Au Pair. There are sooooo many exciting and adventureous job opportunities abroad. Let OCPP sort them out for you, okay? For the kids? OCPP International Service Career Discovery Day. 11:00 a.m., Newcomb Ballroom.

In town tonight: at Miller's, Mike Rosensky and Jeff Decker Quartet; at Tokyo Rose, The Apples with Beulah; at Outback Lodge, The Secret.