Jason Bennet     Simpsons, Eh? Take four parts cynicism, two parts political incorrectness, and a cup of hidden morality. Add yeast, beat the mixture together, and then watch it inflate like a decompressed gerbil. Bake until yellow, and then serve to the devoted American populace. When master cartoon-cooker Matt Groening serves his dish to the world, he is serving a complicated masterpiece. Hidden behind the hilarious flavor of each Simpsons episode, there are vital nutrients that cause us to reflect on our values and our culture. If only every chef were as astute. This hidden morality was the topic of English Professor Paul Cantor's speech given Monday night, entitled, "The Simpsons: A Nuclear Family." Presented as one in a series of Mosaic House Monday night lectures, the event was a great success. Even at our largely apathetic school, the room was packed with more bottoms than seats to support them. I, for one, was excessively pleased. The Simpsons, for those of you who forget the good things that came out of the eighties, is a show centered on one family's interaction with each other and their hometown of Springfield. Both the family and the town are unusual representations of America. Since when did families have a father, a mother, and 2.2 children? In this modern age, you're more likely to change your spouse than you are to upgrade your computer. And who ever heard of towns that have "town meetings"? The Simpsons are a fifties family living in a fifties town stuck in a postmodern world. Old-fashioned though they may be, the Simpsons are no Dan Quayle wet dream. They have plenty of problems adjusting to each other and the other characters in Springfield. For every ounce of hidden morality, there are two ounces of palatable cynicism. No character can escape the ever-mocking eye of cartoon deity Groening. Every touchy issue is accosted and moralized simultaneously. Homer often serves as a vehicle for this dual approach. Some of his timeless quotes are: [To Apu concerning Apu's statue of Ganesh] "Hey Apu, does your god want a peanut?" [To a homosexual acquaintance] "And why do you people call yourselves queer! That was our word for making fun of you!" [To Lisa concerning her interest in playing hockey] "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything ... and it hasn't ... it's that girls should stick to girly sports, like mud wrestling and foxy boxing!" Yet by the end of each one of these featured episodes, there is a resolution that usually involves Homer or his All-American Family accepting a new mode of thought. Apu is explained beyond his Indian Kwik-E-Mart stereotype and is thus humanized. John (the gay guy) saves Homer's life and teaches him that sexual orientation has nothing to do with friendship. And Lisa becomes the star hockey goalie only to throw it away for the love of her brother. Now, if you read this paragraph without watching The Simpsons, or without reading the quotations above, it might seem to be a smarmy show, one that is better suited for the Simpsons' Doppelganger family: the Flanders. I know as well as you do, however, that such a show could never have satiated America for nine seasons. As college students, we all have a very important lesson to learn from Groening's creation. At the start of every day, each one of us begins the day by thinking, "How will I make a name for myself at this university?" We all go about achieving this goal in our own way, fighting for our own causes, and forming our personality as a tool to forge the life we desire. At the end of each day, we go to sleep with the hope that tomorrow we'll fight harder and accomplish more. Unfortunately, some of us get too caught up in this cycle of independent existence. Our personalities become our life, and we approach each new day with the unsmiling satisfaction that ours is the one and only "proper way of thinking." We have lost the ability to rip our eyes from their sockets and place them in the heads of our enemies. If we had such a skill, we would see that nothing in life can escape ridicule or hilarity. So to those reading I say, "Laugh at yourself, because you're the laughingstock of a nation!" You do not appreciate a bland, smarmy, moralistic show, so what makes you think a one sided personality is any different? Greeksters: take the time to laugh at your social ceremonies and alcohol addictions. Gangstas: laugh at your verbal dialogues and expensive fashion. "Individuals": think of how you individualize, and laugh at your piercings, hair dyes, and fabric-wasting pants. Liberals: laugh at your obsessive political correctness and attempted "multi-culturalism." Finally, to those intellectual elitist magazine columnists who think they know what's best for the populace: remember you're in the food chain with everybody else, so don't go getting delusions of grandeur. Since we're all existentialist chefs, baking our own fortunes -- a failed loaf of life is our fault and ours alone. If we attempt to follow the recipe of Groening's satiric morality play, we might end up learning more and having more fun while we're at it. So don't get lost in who you are! You're a ludicrous moron ... but so is the next guy! Look at yourself through the eyes of a cynic, and keep an open mind to those who think you're funny. Life is a comedy, and you're the clown. You can change the future and befuddle the past, but through it all you just gotta laugh. So when the day comes to eat the bread of your life, you're reaction will be, "Mmm ... Cosmic sourdough ..." not a resounding, "D'OH!"

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