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Are You Man Enough?
by Chris Bunn
Within the microcosm of the university, we have many institutions that also address the proper way the ideal "Virginia Gentleman" should conduct himself. Some of these time-honored institutions include the Judiciary and Honor systems, athletic teams, and fraternities. All of these institutions offer their own variation on the theme of masculinity, but fully one-third of the male population chooses to be involved in the fraternity system. Thus, fraternities offer the most influential and appealing answer to the question, "What does it mean to be a man at U. Va.?" In order to discover what attributes fraternities value as masculine and the reason their definition of masculinity is so successful, one could look at the rush process, examine socioeconomic data on existing fraternity members, or study the initiation rituals and standards of conduct that these rituals demand. Each of these categories suggest a slightly different view of masculinity. Socioeconomic data would describe the background and status of individuals within the system, but this information would offer little illumination on the subject of socially-defined masculinity. The rush process depends not only upon self-selection, but on fraternities' selection of potential members. Information regarding this process would elucidate the reasons why men choose to pursue the fraternity system as a social system, but would not reveal the specific criteria viewed as masculine by both fraternity members and rushees. Therefore, to address specifically the question of what is considered masculine behavior. I chose to look at initiation rituals for several reasons. First, initiation rituals are, by their very nature, processes for instructing the ways in which a brother should conduct himself as a fraternity member. In an independent research project conducted several semesters ago, I interviewed 25 fraternity men from 17 different fraternities about their "secret" initiation rituals, both national and private. The national rituals stress the rebirth and re-creation of a person, transforming him into the ideal form of a fraternity brother. These rituals stress the importance of service to the community and specifically to the brotherhood. Many of these rituals were based on glorifying past members who had distinguished themselves as "true brothers." In glorifying the past actions of these men, these rituals demand that current members fashion their behavior after the behavior of past men. However, the private and "secret" rituals tend to stress other aspects of masculinity as important to and necessary for attaining brotherhood status. The specific ritual I am about to describe was mentioned several times by brothers in many of the 17 houses whose members I interviewed. Not all of the houses perform this specific ritual, but all of the houses used some sort of similar ritual that proffers the same ideas about masculinity. It is important to remember that even though only 25 fraternity men were interviewed, these men reported that all members within their fraternities participated in these rituals on a regular basis, and that participation was required for active membership. The ritual is a song, and it goes like this:
Perhaps the strongest definition of masculinity that this song offers is in the imagery surrounding the nameless, faceless woman who has been "fucked to death," as one fraternity pledge put it. The song demonstrates that women who comply to kissing and fondling really want to go further, with sex being the final goal. The men participating in these acts should, as the song says, have "big cocks" ultimately capable of killing a woman. The placement of violence within the context of a sexual encounter socializes men to regard sexual violence as normative. Further, it demonstrates that sex itself should only be associated with pleasure, theoretically disregarding the living existence of women. I am not suggesting that this song would have enough influence to cause men to violently assault women, but if a man were already predisposed to violent behavior, the song explicitly creates a social space which affirms violence within the context of sexuality. The message of the song is clear: women who want to have sex should be degraded and sexed to death. Another frequently encountered song during my research was a improvisational ditty sung to the tune of "The Candy Man Can." The song, entitled "The S & M Man," was sung by a specific fraternity on their pledge bid-night. The song was performed on the porch of their house, in full view of several sororities. Pledges were required to create lyrics to the song on the spot, while the brotherhood would join in for the chorus. Some improvisational excerpts include:
Many of the improvisations included references to homosexuality, which were generally degrading not only to lesbians but homosexuals in general. These songs demonstrate that fraternal masculinity involves an explicit rejection of homosexuality, with an implicit acceptance of the fraternal homosocial environment. Many men claimed that the explicit tirades exhibited against homosexuality allowed for ways in which men could define a space for close interactions without labeling themselves as homosexual. There seems to be extreme concern for distinguishing the intimate relations of fraternity brotherhood from the intimate sexual relations of lovers. The rejection of homosexuality in this song demonstrates to the other brothers that you are not homosexual and therefore only interested in brotherly relations. The act of explicitly rejecting notions of homosexuality through these songs reaffirms to fraternity members the non-sexual nature of their relations. Clearly the aforementioned songs are meant as jokes. As one interviewee said, the tone and the performance of the songs "are meant only as fun. The song is in no way serious." But in analyzing cultural expectation of masculinity, we cannot overlook the power of ritual or the power of socialization. Jokes are considered funny for many different reasons. The whole culture surrounding joking underhandedly rejects cultural norms. In fact, jokes would not even be considered funny unless they juxtaposed opposing viewpoints in a socially humorous manner. But the idea that extreme sexual violence could be considered funny, and that homosexuality could be a humorous basis for killing someone, raises serious questions about the cultural norms under which many fraternity men live. It implies that these men are not only concerned about these issues but that they deal with them through rejection, in a humorous manner. The events are certainly considered harmless jokes by fraternity members, though the sentiments these "jokes" express are ones that many women and other men would not consider funny. Fraternities and many other single-sex institutions within our society create rituals like the aforementioned in order to demonstrate and accentuate qualities which they believe are essential for their members to exhibit. I am not suggesting that these songs alone have created many of the gender problems that exist within the fraternity system, nor am I suggesting that the fraternity system has no respect for women. I spoke with several men who were upset by these songs, men who were unable to grasp the implications of these rituals, men who were sympathetic and caring about gender issues in society. At heart, I believe that these songs and many others like them demonstrate to fraternity members and potential members the expectations of this institutionalized masculinity. Whether an individual chooses to live up to those expectations, regard them as funny, or disregard completely is all within the realm of individual choice. But we can not overlook the potential for such a ritual to create an environment where sex and violence are intimately related.
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