thursday 12

If you don't see Casablanca at Cinematheque at 7 and 9 p.m., you'll regret it ... maybe not today ... maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

In town tonight: at Trax, The Amazing Royal Crowns with Roosevelt's Plan; at Jewish Mother, Common Bond; at Dürty Nelly's, Fulton Patrick.

friday 13

Here's a hint: It involves a Space Ghost suit, several pints of cottage cheese, and twelve inches of "snow." I Know What You Did Last Summer, Cinematheque, 6, 8 and 10 p.m.

Want to find out which porn sites are free and don't require AdultCheck? Want to learn how to create your own homepage devoted exclusively to nude pictures of G. Gordon "Aim For The Head" Liddy? Have these questions and more answered by Netscape Chairman and CEO Jim Barksdale as he addresses the Jefferson Society and the university at large. Jefferson Hall (Hotel C, West Range), at 6:30 p.m.

Ever wonder why Han Solo can understand Wookie, yet speaks to Chewbacca in English? Ever wonder why Luke never made fun of Yoda for his garbled syntax? It's all about L.O.V.E., baby. Lovejones, midnight.

In town tonight: at Outback Lodge, Lake Trout and Humble Sacrifice; at Trax, Guster with Jump Little Children; at Jewish Mother, Rockwell Church with Ben Arthur; at Monterey's, Retrophonics.

saturday 014

A straight man in love with a lesbian??! Good Christ! What will Hollywood think up next ... Chasing Amy at Cinema-theque, noon, 2, and 4 p.m.

Hey guys and dolls, it's Valentine's Day and what's better than a song? "La la la, blah, blah, blah, la la love ... La la lee, be be bee ... true ... to me ..." Valentine Celebra-tion in Song, Old Cabell Hall, 8:15 p.m. Art$ accepted.

"There once was a man from Nantuck-et ..." Boo, dude, it's been done! "There's a hole in the wall where the men can see it all ..." Boo. Hiss. Piss. "whacking off, beside a warm fire ..." Yeah. Whoa. Say it brotha. Erotic Poetry Festival, 7 to 9 p.m. at Tokyo Rose.

In town tonight: at Tokyo Rose, True Love Always and Charming; at Dürty Nelly's, He Said Monday; at Outback Lodge, Charlottesville Funk All-Stars; at Trax, Strangefolk, Percy Hill and Humble Sacrifice.

calendar graphic by Andrew Elligers

sunday 15

Remember this ol' chantey: What shall we do with a drunken sailor / Listening to Beethoven with Norman Mailer / Intimate with whales and wanting to nail her / Early in the morning. The Albermarle Ensemble and Rivanna Quartet does Shanties and Ludwig Van. Old Cabell Hall, 3:30 p.m.

Lazy Sunday, nothin' to do? Break out the Spy Gear and shoot some voyeur footage of that Desperado chick and Gandhi's cousin doin' the nasty. Submit your 16mm films and 1/2" or 3/4" videos (10 minutes or less) to the U.Va. Film & Video Society by March 25th for the Second Annual Salmagundi Film/Video Festival.

In town tonight: at Michael's Bistro, Stephen Barling and Brandon Collins; at Dürty Nelly's, PTF.

monday 16

Father Bishoy will speak in the Chapel at 7 p.m., sponsored by the Coptic Club. And please, only dripless candles can be used in the chapel. A charge of $250 will be incurred if any wax is found on the carpet after your event.

In town tonight: at Jewish Mother, Wendy Repass; at Michael's Bistro, Phatness; at Prism, Greg Trafidlo.

tuesday 17

Yeah, a cushy li'l internship would be nice, but you know what'd be better? A sugar daddy! Internship Fair, Newcomb Hall Ballroom, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Nothing but kooks, those astronomy kids. I mean, how could they get Dylan so wrong? "Small Comets Revisited," by Dr. Larry Fredrick, Clark 140, 4 p.m.

In town tonight: at Michael's Bistro, SoKo; at Katie's Country Club, Teen Night Tuesday; at Jewish Mother, Stone Kitchen.

wednesday 18

Hey wonderbread. Yeah you. Who was the first African-American senator? Whaddaya mean ya don't know? Quit whining and drag yo' ass down to Newcomb Hall room 168A for a presentation on Afro-American History Month, 7 p.m.

Kevin's evil twin sister Katie Koestner has come to turn Newcomb Hall Ballroom into a House of Lies. Catch her disinformation on Sexual Assault on College Campuses at 7:30 (That's grounds to you, lady, and that sort of thing doesn't happen in our community of trust.)

Ooh, those Vee-Dee's are soooo hot! Uh-uh girl, I'm gonna get a Hullabahoogivesafuck, they're dreamy! Forget about the Play-Do's -- they're soooo passé! A capella sing, 8 p.m. in the South Meeting Room, sponsored by ISC and Laura Ashley.

In town tonight: at Jewish Mother, Gretchen Casler.