thursday 19

Holy shit! I must be in Flavor Country! Does the nicotine euphoria ever end? This John Kirchner exhibit is gonna give the whole fuckin' county lung cancer! Artspace.

Hmm ... What rhymes with X? Sex? No. Vex? No. Tex-Mex? NOFX? No. Dammit, this poetry stuff is HARD! Heritage Poetry series reading in honor of Malcolm X, Newcomb Hall Main Lounge, 7 p.m.

Man, that Nurse Ratched has the biggest tits this side of the Prime Meridian. I hope she makes me scrub the toilets again today! One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest at Cinematheque, 7 p.m. and midnight.

In town tonight: at Jewish Mother, Humble Sacrifice; at Miller's, John D'earth; at Tokyo Rose, Japonize Elephants with Nickeltown and the Come On Children.

friday 20

After midnight we're gonna let it all (and I mean all) hang out. The Full Monty at Cinematheque, 6, 8, and 10 p.m.

Looks like enrolling in Asceticism 120 wasn't such a bright idea after all, eh? Sam Shepard, "Curse of the Starving Class," Culbreth Theater, 8 p.m. If the calcium depletion doesn't get you, the scurvy surely will.

Does shiny brass get you in D'mood? Be sure not to miss the U.Va. Jazz Ensemble, lead by fancy Mr. John D'earth. Old Cabell Hall, 8:15 p.m.

Beverly D'Angelo in a towel singing "ba-ba-bum" to an audience of hundreds of dirty Europeans! European Vacation at Cinematheque, midnight.

In town tonight: at Prism, Jim Hurst and Missy Raines; at Trax, Baaba Seth with Phatness and the Almighty Senators; at Miller's, Hogwaller Ramblers; at Monterey's, Brenda Best and Hot Wire; at Tokyo Rose, Naked Puritans with Sub 7.

saturday 21

"Bob Vila? Holy shit! Where? Is it time for another installment of 'This Old Residential College'?" Oh no, no, no, no. You misunderstand. Mr. Vilas Nene will lecture on Hinduism, not home improvement. Newcomb Hall Room 168 B, 11 a.m.

First, I remove my pants. You're watching, right? Next, I sliiide off my sweater. You still watching? Now I pull off my t-shirt. Can you still see me? Exhibition, John Kirchner, Artspace Gallery.

In town tonight: at Max, New Rider; at Miller's, Afrikan Drum Festival with Kurt Patterson and Osei-Sababu; at Monterey's, Jimmy O and the Palominos with Charlie Pastorfield; at the Outback Lodge, Sonar with To the Moon Alice; at Tokyo Rose, Alboth; at Trax, My Dog Lucy and Underfoot.

sunday 22

Hey, hey! Put on your Paginini-Liszt and ice the Rachmaninoff! Faculty Artist Mary Kathleen Ernst performs at 3:30 in the Cabell Hall Auditorium. If you pull a Fauré and miss it, we'll throw Shatin all over your Debussy.

Kick off a congenial Sunday afternoon with the Bayly wholesome Family Program: Discovery Tour, 1 p.m. at the Bayly Museum. Puppet shows and an egg roll on the lawn to follow.

In town tonight: at Michael's Bistro, the Larry Keel Experience; at Dürty Nelly's, Crystal Armentrout; at Jewish Mother, Rusty Speidel.

monday 23

"Hon, where did you put my Chamber Tom? I really have to go, and you know it's my only chance to read the Dec." Exhibition, Tom Chambers, Artspace Gallery.

graphic by Tom Serlin

It's better than a swap meet: it's a goddamned forum! S.T.D. Forum, Newcomb Hall Commonwealth Room, 6 to 8:30 p.m.

In town tonight: at Jewish Mother, Wendy Repass; at Miller's, Greg Howard.

tuesday 24

Come one, come all! Ride the terrifying Colonial! See the bearded Split-Level! Knock over three Duplexes and win a stuffed aardvark! For a limited time only get a caramelized Victorian for only a dollar! Housing Fair, Newcomb Hall Ballroom, 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Did you know that blood is heavier than water? Yup, since a pint of water weighs one pound, just imagine how much a pint of blood weighs! Come on, it's a great weigh, excuse me, way to lose those extra pounds. Virginia Blood Service Blood Drive, Peabody 106 107, 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Sponsored by ISC.

In town tonight: at Michael's Bistro, the Dave Cosby Project; at Jewish Mother, Jim Waive; at Miller's, Blues'n'Stuff; at Dürty Nelly's, Steve and Tim Ryalls with Skip.

wednesday 25

Use your smack habit for the good of society: donate blood. Just remember to shoot up first. Virginia Blood Service Blood Drive, Peabody 107, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

No chasm is the separation between 'man' and 'clown.' Explore the freakishly dichotomous nature of the clown-man: welcoming reception for Artist-in-Residence Bill Irwin, Newcomb Hall Main Lounge, 5:00 p.m.

The Spring Job Fair would be great, but I'm majoring in unemployment. Otherwise, I'd have all your jobs! The Spring Job Fair, Newcomb Hall Ballroom, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

In town tonight: at Jewish Mother, the Travis Allison Trio; at Miller's, Mike Rosensky and Jeff Decker Quartet; at Trax, Huffamoose with Falstaff.