Sinking to New Depths

Dear Dec,

I liked Titanic.

A shocking admission, I know. For the past three weeks, the Dec has printed articles that openly sneered at the masses who fall for such mainstream pap. And Dec, I love you, I do, but you're the only place where two hundred million people not only can be wrong, but probably are -- because we're ignorant, NKOTB-loving suburbanites who couldn't possibly appreciate the subtle higher culture of oh, say, South Park.

You didn't like Titanic.

That's fine. Understandable, even. But I do not understand the compulsion to shout from the rooftops the fact that it insulted your intelligence and made the bile rise to the top of your throat. And I certainly do not understand the presentation of the movies As Good as it Gets and Good Will Hunting as realistic, non-Hollywood, non-cliché alternatives.

As Good as it Gets gives us Helen Hunt (Holly-wood's only designated "real woman") as a salt-of-the-earth waitress with a sick son and a heartless HMO. Oh, by the way, Jack Nicholson has obsessive-compulsive disorder, a serious lifelong psychiatric illness that is essentially cured by the love of a good woman. What's not cliché about this movie? James L. Brooks, director of such "real life" fare as Terms of Endearment and Broadcast News (I'll let The Simpsons slide) has certainly earned his relentless manipulation merit badge.

Good Will Hunting has dialogue at least as laughable as Titanic (sample: "have you ever been in a war and watched your best friend die in your arms?"), but I guess since the lead character is a sociopath, a serious lifelong psychiatric illness essentially cured in a single session by the love of a good therapist, it's more realistic.

So perhaps a better description of these movies is that Titanic has intentionally cliché characters in a real situation while As Good as it Gets and Good Will Hunting have semi-real characters in cliché situations. All are manipulative; Titanic is a little more honest about it. And Titanic relies mostly on actual events.

No disrespect intended -- if the other movies spoke to you, so be it. Just leave me to my mainstream taste in peace, people. And once in a while admit that, in eighth grade, you kind of liked MC Hammer's way with rhythm.

Lovingly,

Kate Zimmerman
CLAS IV