thursday 26

Sugar 'n' spice and everything nice -- that's what little girls are made of. But what about NOW members? Come to Minor 130 at 6 p.m. and find out.? This John Kirchner exhibit is gonna give the whole fuckin' county lung cancer! Artspace.

"Guttural stubbies: Let's look in A. Ng." No, goddammit. That's the last time I play telephone with your sorry ass. Ien Ang, an Australian sociologist, discusses cultural studies in the Commonwealth Room, Newcomb Hall at 3:15 p.m.

In town tonight: at Jewish Mother, June Rich; at Miller's, John D'earth; at Tokyo Rose, The Adjustments and The Deceptikonz; at Trax, Emmet Swimming.

friday 27

"Oh, la dee dah. What a fancy-schmancy title. You don't really think it gives you legitimacy, though, right?" John Grisham chronicles Noah's fatal error. The Rainmaker, 7 and 9:30 p.m. at Cinematheque.

Go home. No, seriously -- there's nothing to discuss here. It's a terrible thing to waste; that's it, bottom line. Why are you even questioning it? Jaeqwon Kim, professor at Brown (Oh! That explains it!) talks about the "Philosophy of Mind," 3:30 in the South Meeting Room.

Tupac (The Sequel). Didn't get enough of the whole East vs. West thing the first time? See Dead Again at Cinematheque. Gang wars begin at midnight.

n town tonight: at Trax, Earth to Andy with Marvelous 3 and Sherri Jackson; at Outback Lodge, The Empties and Animal Farm; at Miller's, Nickeltown; at Jewish Mother, Red Letter Day; at Tokyo Rose, Ben Arthur and Paul Wilkinson.

saturday 28

And God said, "Let there be light," and thus the China Fest came to life in the form of the good sun shining high in the sky. The China Fest, Newcomb Hall Ballroom, 2 p.m.

Then God said, "Let there be rain, 'cause I'm sick of all this goddamn sunshine. Enough already!" And so the good rain fell down to earth. The Rainmaker, Cinematheque, 7 and 9:30.

Well, they gotta be better than those damn Team USA hockey fucks. Watch the Virginia Ice Hockey Squad play for the ACCHA championship. 4 and 10 p.m., Charlottesville Ice Rink.

In town tonight: at Trax, Fighting Gravity, with The Ernies; at Jewish Mother, Terri Allard; at Tokyo Rose, Clare Quilty with Dead Girls & Other Stories.

sunday 1

Hey, you know what? There are these parties sometimes, and like, there's beer at these parties. And you know what else? There's alcohol in the beer. Alcohol Awareness Lecture, Newcomb Theater, 2 p.m.

Calling all hermaphrodites! Tired of not having any outlet to flaunt what you got? Sick of hiding your dual nature? Finally, there is a place where you can be yourself and be accepted for who you really are, if you in fact know. Ebony Man/Woman Pageant, Newcomb Ballroom, 7 p.m.

Symphonic Masterworks at night, except people will go, pay 18 bucks, and stay awake. Who woulda thunk it? The Charlottesville and University Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Carl Roskott, Cabell Hall, 3:30 p.m. ARTS$ event.

In town tonight: at Dürty Nelly's, PTF.

monday 2

"Hey, you forgot the sound. I can't hear what the hell they're saying. What good is a movie without any sound?" Ann Marie "Jade" Bryan, deaf filmmaker lectures on "Using Film to Create Change in Our Community" in McCleod Hall at 7 p.m.

In town tonight: at Miller's, Sam Shaber; at Buddhist Biker Bar and Grill, Xingu.

tuesday 3

Abolish Squatting!!! Housing Fair, Newcomb Hall Ballroom, 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Been hankerin' for another lavish display of capitalistic overabundance? U.Va. Food Show, Cavalier Room 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.. Third-world povs need not attend.

Mountaineering, Engineering, Racketeering: what do they all have in common? Slides, baby; it's all about slides. Adrian Burgess, slide presentation on Mountaineering, South Meeting Room, 7 pm.

In town tonight: at Tokyo Rose, Helium with South; at Buddhist Biker Bar and Grill, Myotonia.

wednesday 4

graphic by Becca Edson

NARRATOR: ... and as Our Hero screams across the alkali flats in a rocket-powered monkey-navigated tub of salad cream ...
OUR HERO: What do you mean you won't crumble Cheez-its(TM) over my testicles?
MONKEY: Aaaak! Eeeep! Eeeeeep!
OUR HERO: My socks do not smell like sodium monoflurophosphate!
MONKEY: Oooo! Oooo! Aaaaaaa!
NARRATOR: And as they disappear into the sunset, Hush plays at Cinematheque, 7:30 & 9 p.m. Special Advanced Screening.

In town tonight: at Michael's Bistro, Dave Gerard and David Bailey; at Trax, Puddleduck and Mighty Purple.