The Canevari Tales

When curtailing individual freedom, first attack the pornographers. When purveyors of filth are absent, go for the vilest institution available -- for Jahan Ramazani and Dean Canevari, this distinction falls upon the greek system. The Declaration does not dispute the shortcomings of the fraternities in bolstering an academic environment, but regulation by the administration is not the answer.

The iron mask of advantage blinding Echols scholars, the drunken haze of the fall rush, or the demands of a full-time work-study each fundamentally distort the first-year environment. Why should the Dean of Students decide which experiences pass muster? The administration falls back upon a paternalistic line: the naive and confused first years need to be protected from the talons of extra-curricular demands. But what is the amphitheater activity fair besides an attempt to latch on to unwitting first years? Debate concerning GPA or even the greek system misses the point: this struggle pitches a powerful administration against an indifferent student body for control of student behavior. And the deans are winning beneath banners of academic integrity, public safety, and the word of law.

We must become aware of the administration's big brotherly steps herding students into activities deemed appropriate. After spanking the wayward rush system, the Dean of Students could move to push back matriculation into other unwholesome and time-consuming student organizations such as the dangerously Marxist Critical Mass and bigoted Virginia Advocate, then axe altogether such blemishes as the LGBTU before it adds any more initials, such as yours. Removing the SAF would be the most efficient way to ethically cleanse Mr. Jefferson's little Animal Farm, since all the important institutions for pacifying the masses such as the Cavalier Daily, Student Council, and football team operate self-sufficiently.

To naysayers of the slippery slope: consider for just a moment how much freedom you have sacrificed to the administration for other great causes. You park in specified lots at certain times and chain your bike to designated racks to support efficient transportation; you post flyers on approved bulletin boards to keep our Grounds spic and span; you are dissuaded from imposing your high-decibel musical tastes upon others, etc. The U.Va. community is puritanical and under-involved enough without further attacks on independent student groups.

The Declaration cannnot join the peanut gallery, rolling over and exposing our apathetically soft underbellies to be rubbed or gutted by the hand that needs us. The greek system should squeal with glee -- the first lamb rolled down the slippery slope into The Jungle of state control. The lesson is clear: be vigilant or be next.

-- SGK