Off to the Races

It's springtime in C'ville, and that means hordes of Eljo's poster children will be flocking to that most revered horse race for a day full of cocktails and Solarcaine. Poodah offers this festive ditty to enhance the enjoyment of this semi-annual cultural extravaganza.

Fields of Foxes
(to be sung to the tune of Sting's Fields of Gold)

Won't remember you, past my drunken haze
Upon the fields of foxes
I forgot your name, it's not important now
At least the beer's still cold

So she took her friend
To bum cigarettes
Among the fields of Broncos
In my car she fell, as her drawers came down
Beside the Cuervo Gold
Will you stay with me, we'll have mindless sex
Among the fields of khaki
We'll forget your sponge, also the K-Y
Cause I've got my coin of gold

See my woman move with her afterglow
Upon the fields of foxes
Felt her stomach heave, as I held her hair
Before she passed out cold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
That the stick will not turn blue
That the stick will not turn blue

Many weeks have passed, since that April day
Upon the fields of foxes
Now she's two weeks late, and I'm scared as hell
Guess the condom was too old
She'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of foxes
Please don't tell my son he's a bastard child
Conceived on Barracks Road
Conceived on Barracks Road
Conceived on Barracks Road

Big Gay Casteen's Big Gay Dormitory

While rummaging through the garbage, Gestapo-style, Poodah happened upon a recent memo outlining some possible features of the proposed "homosexual friendly" living environment. Poodah has decided to "leak" a few to whet your appetite.

• divided into "Diva" and "Granola" wings
• floors arranged in order -- ROY G. BIV
• no closets!
• LGBTBS
• "Ellen" and "Ani" Wednesdays
• absolutely no parking

It has come to Poodah's attention that a certain disgruntled, golden individual of the masculine persuasion "likes the night the way it is." Poodah suggests next time you take the fucking flyer, mmmkay?

Poodah's Roadtrip to Reston

Highlights:

Absurd Theatre

Dean Canevari: We have no choice but to move Rush to the spring.
IFC President: Man that shit is not fair!