Drink Me

Oh, for God's sake. Why do I feel like we're reliving Prohibition in this country? State schools are banning alcohol right and left; U.Va., whose other founder is Jim Beam, wants to ban alcohol at frat parties; and some ninny is trying to introduce a bill into state legislation that will make alcohol possession on a state college campus grounds for expulsion, regardless of age. There's talk of making alcohol illegal in Brown College, also regardless of drinking age. Why does no one see that bans are a moronic way to go about solving the problem of excessive drinking?

Articles everywhere bemoan the prevalence of binge drinking, and I completely agree. Drinking to the point of involuntarily evacuating one's bowels surely ranks as one of the less stellar accomplishments of a college career. But a ban on drinking won't do a damn thing to curb this problem. In fact, it might make it worse. Consider the following.

Binge drinking stems mostly from rebellion against society and its mystification of alcohol. Alcohol remains forbidden to most adolescents around their parents. It's something adults do, and appears to be quite fun, judging from the raucous laughter from downstairs. So, the subconscious reasoning goes, it must be really, really cool. The instant these sheltered kids get away from their parents, whether in high school or at college, out come the bottles. And since they've grown up without learning how to drink responsibly, they immediately proceed to drink themselves blind. Or dead.

And parents are shocked. Shocked! Their angelic teens are (gasp!) drinking! So they rest the blame not on their children for being irresponsible, not on themselves for failing to provide proper preparation for a life in the real world, but on the school administration. Of course. As we all know, the administration plays a loving, caring, involved role in our social lives, and should be held responsible for this abomination. Right.

And in case parents need a reminder: drinking under the age of 21 is already illegal. This means that there is already a ban on their beloved first and second years drinking anywhere. It certainly hasn't stopped any of them, and it also means that their offspring are breaking the law. How many complaining parents would willingly send the fruit of their loins off to the drunk tank, and then to court?

A ban on alcohol is like putting a band-aid on a compound fracture: it doesn't make matters better, and just distracts us from solving the real problem. Until parents are willing to accept responsibility for actually raising their children, and until they are ready to assign some blame to their children, binge drinking will continue unabated despite any action the administration takes. Would a ban on drinking at the university have helped either of the girls who died this past year? Both were over 21; both were off-grounds. The danger of binge drinking extends beyond the serpentine walls, and it is the responsibility of every individual, not of the administration or the state, to ensure that it does not happen.

-- JLP