F r o n t   L i n e All in the Family by Karishma Ukani Kate Ranson-Walsh has been a board member of COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) for the past two years. Now a first-year student, Ranson-Walsh was a keynote presenter at a forum hosted Thursday, October 8, by U.Va.'s chapter of the National Organization of Women. The primary focus of this forum was to discuss COLAGE and address ways to combat the ever-present problem of homophobia in society. The idea for COLAGE originated in 1990 at the annual Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International Conference, when a small group of gay parents hosted a series of seminars for young people to discuss their families. A year later, COLAGE was formed by a group of six young people, all of whom are children of either lesbian or gay parents. The organization's goal -- to be a source of comfort and information for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender families. Another result of the 1990 conference was the creation of a small, peer-based support group which began a newsletter called Just for Us. The publication had an original distribution of 200 and provided an outlet for stories about growing up in a gay household. Currently, the newsletter's distribution stands at 2000, and COLAGE membership has increased to over 3500. With strong membership comes new programs, including a pen pal program, a speakers' bureau, a media contact list, internet service, and advocacy in custody cases and legislation. One primary objective of COLAGE is to discount misconceptions regarding gay families. There are currently between six and ten million daughters and sons of lesbian, gay, and bisexual parents. Social stigmas associated with gay families, such as a predominant occurrence of sexual abuse and children of gay parents automatically growing up gay, do not hold true. According to studies conducted by, among others, U.Va. Psychology Professor Charlotte Patterson, recorded instances of sexual abuse are lower in homosexual households than in heterosexual ones, and children of gay parents have the same rate of homosexuality (10 percent) as the general population. Patterson says this counteracts many commonly held stereotypes, such as the myth that "you will become maladjusted because you grew up in a family that is different from what is 'normal.'" COLAGE's national office answers over 200 requests for information each week from children, parents, teachers, and press, addressing such concerns. Patterson states that 95 percent of those who attend the annual conference experience the "COLAGE Magic," thus becoming less conflicted and improving their attitude toward the world. Felicia Park-Rogers, Director of COLAGE, states that growing up as a child of lesbian/gay parents provides a "unique experience," allowing for varying influences and experiences. Unfortunately, many children of lesbian or gay parents don't always view it so idealistically. Teenage children in these families tend to have higher suicide rates than other children, and often isolate themselves from their peers. There are numerous situations in which parents don't come out until the children are already in their teens, for fear of somehow influencing their child's choice of lifestyle. Being the child of gay or lesbian parents can be extremely vexing if the child is not given the opportunity to come to terms with the situation early on, and can cause feelings of resentment. Predictably, some children deal with the news better than others. An example is Felicia Park-Rogers, herself a child of a gay father. When she was 18, she found out that her father was HIV-positive and immediately moved back to San Francisco to be close to him. While there, she searched for an organization that included people in similar situations, but was unsuccessful, which led to her eventual involvement with COLAGE. Hoping to help those children who are less sure of their situation, Park-Rogers encourages open discussion between parents and children. Being gay in society is difficult enough without having the added pressure of constantly being at odds with your parents or children. Gay parents are generally subject to disproportionate public scrutiny. A Bellingham, Washington woman who gave up her child for adoption the previous year sought to regain custody after discovering that a gay couple might adopt her three year old. Closer to home, Richmond resident Sharon Bottoms lost custody of her son to her own mother because Bottoms' lesbian relationship was deemed "immoral" by a judge and she was consequently called an "unfit mother." Problems and issues such as the Bottoms case are exactly what COLAGE tries to prevent from happening again. COLAGE members want homosexuality to be ignored as a factor in custody disputes, claiming that decisions should be made based on the best interests of the children. Overall, COLAGE strives for the termination of ignorance and hatred with respect to homosexuality so that "our parents can focus on parenting, not hiding, and children can focus on family, not fear."

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