Vanilla Ice / Hard to Swallow by Sara Shapouri Universal Hard to swallow? I'd say so. We're talking Vanilla Ice -- word t' yo' mother, Cool As Ice, Vanilla Ice. It's a lot to swallow. This is the Vanilla Ice that years ago was thought to never be heard from again and labeled as a joke by everyone from the media to clueless pre-teens (myself included). Who would want give him another chance? Especially with a name that is akin to the plague, anyone with any interest in musical artistry would want nothing to do with him. But maybe that is why I find this all so interesting. The challenge of this album and the challenge that Vanilla Ice poses to himself and the listener is to separate the Vanilla Ice that was branded the king of posers, from his latest attempt on his new album Hard to Swallow. The first song, "Living," is by far one of the more energetic and pounding songs on the album and introduces the listener to the new sound of the Ice Man. With its hardcore riffs, electronic back beats, and darkly colored raps it is extremely reminiscent of Rage Against the Machine, specifically in the lines "As I walk through the valley of sin / I walk with all you my friends." But unlike Rage Against the Machine's more political and social focus, Vanilla Ice explores himself, specifically his angrier side. Do not look for the Vanilla Ice that bounced around with a pompadour hairdo because he just ain't home -- he's smoking up, getting play, and kicking some booty. One of the more respectable facts about the album present in "Living" as well as many of the other songs is that Vanilla Ice does not hide or attempt to ignore his past hip-hop pop fame. In the song "Fuck Me," he confronts the persona that critics labeled him through the lyrics "Fuck Vanilla Ice!" and "Ice Ice Baby/Ice Ice Bitch!" This is also done in a very entertaining manner on "Too Cold" in which he remakes his famous hit single, "Ice Ice Baby." It is remarkable how well the lyrics still hold up in his more diverse crossover format, seeming to attest to the fact that though that song is treated disdainfully, it still possesses a general appeal. Yes he was the Vanilla Ice that was the butt of jokes, but social fads cannot change the fact that he is capable of producing very catchy and accessible songs, regardless of how cheesy they may be. The weakness of the album and possibly its kiss of death is how heavily loaded it is with horribly overused musical clichés. In the first few songs of the album, Vanilla Ice's use of the "I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass" routine is not only terribly boring, but has been done with much more creativity and ingenuity by other artists. Although that aspect is irritating, the track that is the most painful of the bunch is "Zig Zag Stories." It is a pot smoking song if I ever heard one, full of the mischievously whispered "Wanna get you high / Get you high on pot," the anthropomorphism of marijuana, and the telling of tales of major doobage. It is possibly the worst song I have ever heard about marijuana and weakens the already difficult sell of Hard to Swallow. The album at times crosses the line of banality, but it's appropriate for what I perceive as the target audience, that being adolescent boys, a little pissed off, a little sexually repressed, and a little too in love with smoking up. Most definitely the album is cheesy, how can it not be with a track entitled "The Horny Song"? Usage of the words "jizz" and "hump" along with lyrics like "Don't you know my cream is good for your health?" and "I wanna take a dip in your ice cream" indicates that although the album is not bad, it has a limited range and prevents itself from being taken seriously. But that was to be expected -- c'mon, it's the Ice Man, baby.

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