Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Poodah was walking down the Lawn the other day and realized Poodah was being attacked by swarms of roving a capella groups and rainbow-sticker-toting LGBTUers. Inspired by these proud people, Poodah decided that a song in honor of these out folks was in order.

(Sung to the tune of "God Bless the U.S.A.")

If tomorrow at the lunch workshop, I decided to come out
And I had to tell my friends just what my lifestyle's all about
I'd crank up "Lucky Star" and shout, "Hey you, I'm gay!"
'Cause this "fag" now stands for freedom, and I'll finally get some play.

And I'm proud to wear my pink triangle where everyone can see,
And now I'm gonna find me a big gay man who will get down on his knees,
And I'll make him lie down, next to me, and then I'll make his day,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love my man
GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.

From the dykes of San Francisco, to the queers of 216
Across the buns of Texans, from queen to flaming queen
From Dupont down to South Beach, from New York to L.A.
Well, there's pride in every American heart,
And it's time that we sashay.

Hard Drivin'

No matter how many times Poodah tells you, you just don't listen. Poodah is everywhere. The other day, while cruising down Rugby on a high-class Schwinn, Poodah almost went to that big Poodah graveyard in the sky, courtesy of one Ol' Man Casteen. It would seem that our esteemed leader doesn't believe that traffic laws apply to him, as Poodah was nearly decapitated by the Ol' Man's freshly spit-shined luxury automobile. Failure to yield at a red light, eh? That's a sixty-dollar fine sir, and no Capital Campaign funds, please.

Polish Polish

The university was fortunate enough to have its grounds graced by the sausage-lovin', Communism-hatin', former Polish (or is it Polish?) President Lech Walesa last week. Poodah happened to be one of the lucky few who got to interview this Nobel Prize winner in a closed-door meeting.

Poodah: Can you tell us more about the screen-door submarine? The inflatable dartboard? Tumble-dry dishwasher? Reusable toothpaste?

Walesa: Patents are pending.

Poodah: Interesting, interesting. I was also wondering if you could elaborate on the current summit on how to screw in lightbulbs. For example, how many of you are involved? It seems that this is a very prevalent issue in Poland, and has been for quite some time.

Walesa: Um ... hey! Look what I almost stepped in!

Autumnal Reveries

Poodah offers up this generations-old cider recipe for a treat that is sure to warm your soul on those cold fall mornings:

• 1 liter, Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
• 1 Sour Apple Jolly Rancher™

Microwave rum 1 minute on high.
Add Rancher.
Mix to taste.