This week I was fortunate enough to attend the end-of-semester event at another AAGP site, Charlottesville Health and Rehab. The grandparents and volunteers had an ice cream social together and entertained questions about travel as a group while enjoying fudge swirled- ice cream with various sugary toppings. An administrative aid of Charlottesville H&R called out questions to the group like, “Who has been outside America?” We all contemplated our histories and replied by separately calling, “I’ve been to Europe!” or “I’ve been to Brazil!” or even, “Well I’ve been to Brooklyn.” A chuckle resounded, and the aid continued, “Alright, alright, fair enough. Where is the farthest place you have been then?” An eccentric, outspoken man with a sailor’s cap replied, “I’ve been to Charlottesville!” Everyone laughed, and the man continued with an encore song about the “sweet drinks out in Batesville and how, why, you must save me some.” We all clapped after each one of his performances (he sang encores several times throughout the social).

It was the first time I had been to Charlottesville Health and Rehab. It is a new building, and there are many open windows throughout that let in the nice glow of an early spring sun. The place seems very friendly with caring staff, who were very receptive and engaging towards us volunteers as well as the patients. I felt at ease among new faces and characters and tremendously enjoyed the atmosphere of a communal living setting. It is quite different from volunteering at someone’s home. There is an energy among the various grandparents, and they all seem to feed off of the eccentricities of each other in a type of familial way.

I truly enjoy just sitting back and listening as each grandparent talks a little about their life experiences, or even daily experiences. To me, the group question is irrelevant. Whether we are all trying to connect over places we’ve been or haven’t been to, the effort of communication is the same. The art of volunteering (and the art of Adopt-A-Grandparent as well) comes from having the patience to just listen to a stranger and expend the energy necessary to at least try to understand a small part of their life story. That way, the exchange (whether it be in a group or home setting) is made between two people who are only trying to chart the uncharted and understand through questions, answers, and simple observations, how we differ and how we are the same. It is remarkable how similar the very young, young, old, and very old all are.

This week when I visited Ellen she wasn’t feeling very well. Her back was hurting her, and she had trouble standing up and walking. I tried to help her as best I could, but she is independent and likes to do things herself. I respect that, but when a neighbor was at the door, it was just too much for Ellen to quickly stand up so I opened the door instead.

The neighbor was an elderly man (in his eighties) who was kindly dropping off an empty, washed popcorn bowl, thoughtfully filled with a jar of spaghetti sauce and two Java Twix bars in thanks. I told the man “Thank you” and gave the gift to Ellen. She smiled and said, “Now you take those candy bars. He knows I shouldn’t have them. I’ll never lose weight!” I laughed. Nearly every day Ellen makes popcorn for this man, who is incredibly grateful not only for the snack but for the daily consideration. In return, he gives her what he can for the week– spaghetti sauce, candy bars. The friendship brings them both gratitude, shown as a smile worn daily, and it is as simple as taking five minutes to pop some popcorn or return a clean dish.

When I went to visit Ellen this past week, she was watching “Sweet Home Alabama” (starring Reese Witherspoon and Josh Lucas) with a neighbor friend. Honestly, I was thankful to have the chance to just relax and watch the movie with her (the week had been a long and tiring one). However, Ellen found creative ways to inject conversation throughout the movie. She commented on the simple love-story (“Rom-com”) plot and said, “Now I believe everyone has had a first sweetheart at some point when they are young.” I nodded in agreement. Every so often she offered me Now & Laters candy she received from another neighbor friend, whom she makes popcorn for every now-and-then in return.

Her other neighbor friend watching the movie with us was very kind and smiled when she heard I volunteered at the local rescue squad (Western Albemarle). She suffers from seizures and told me, “Now I may be needing you and calling you one of these days.” I nodded in agreement (more as an affirmation of comfort for her), and we all finished watching the movie (of course Reese returns to her first sweetheart…).

Sometimes just sitting together on a quiet Friday afternoon is all that is needed to recover from a tiring week. Even interspersed conversation helps break up the predictable, cliché plot and keeps the simple act of watching TV a type of interaction among those who enjoy each other’s company, as neighbor friends.